Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about parental involvement in children’s day school education. In their article, Theory into Practice, Wendy Grolnick and Eva Pomerantz suggest that schools do the following to enfranchise parents into the process of educating their children:
Work to create a welcoming school climate
Develop positive relationships with parents
Convey that parents are partners in their children’s happiness and success
Communicate regularly with parents about school activities, the curriculum, and academic expectations
Give parents permission not to micromanage their kids’ homework
Help parents feel efficacious in supporting their children; they don’t need to know all the answers, just provide good working conditions, positive expectations, and other resources
Teachers should send home fewer assignments with right/wrong answers and more that foster exploration with an emphasis on the process, as well as activities that have children play a game with a family member that uses the skills being learned in school
Foster a mastery versus a performance orientation
I have two additional suggestions to help teachers include parents and better understand the parent-child relationships of their students.
In many schools, student-led conferences are replacing the traditional parent-teacher conferences, even in the youngest grades. A student-led conference is a preplanned meeting in which students demonstrate responsibility for their academic performance by providing a review of their work for parents and teachers. Aside from the well-documented advantages of student-led conferences, since the students are there together with their parents, teachers have an opportunity to observe the relationship and the interactions between parent and child. This can give great insight into what may motivate a student and why a particular child may behave or function the way they do. In addition, a teacher may modify their own interactions with that student based on these observations. A case in point: I was the teacher in a student-led conference with the father in attendance. The student was upfront about his successes and challenges in class. Upon hearing of his son’s challenges, the father smacked the back of his son’s head, and shouted, “I told you to behave in class!” I gained insight both into some weasley behavior that the student exhibited, and I also modified my reports to the parents to assure that the student was growing because of positive reinforcement rather than fear of being hit. The student accelerated his progress in class, in part because I changed my approach to him and in part, I believe, because now he knew that I was looped in on what he needed to deal with at home.
Specifically, in Judaic Studies, parent-child learning is invaluable. On a regular basis, teachers should have the students study a text that the class is learning with one or both parents and share a debrief of both the outcomes and the process with the teacher. The materials sent home would include the text, a protocol for learning, and some guide questions. It should take no longer than 15-20 minutes at a time. This process embodies many advantages.
The parents will get insight into the material their child is learning and into the child’s developing skills in an organic fashion.
The parent and child will each get to see the way the other thinks and how they approach the text.
The parent will be more enfranchised in their child’s Judaic learning, as they are now a part of the process.
The parent will model the concept of being a life-long Torah learner, something that we strive for our children to become.
The child’s homework now becomes a growth process rather than busy work, both in terms of encountering a text and in terms of a developing filial relationship with their parents.
We–the teachers and the parents–are full partners in the raising of Jewish children. Like any relationship, this one requires reflection and intentional interventions in order to develop and flourish. And, like other relationships, it needs constant care from both ends to remain positive and vibrant.
This parent-teacher collaboration reflects Moshe blessing the Yissachar-Zevulun relationship as outlined by Rashi in Devarim 33:18:
“Because you, Zevulun, have combined in partnership with the tribe of Yissachar: you will embark on trade and provide support for Yissachar while he occupies himself in the study of the Torah — I therefore bless both of you.”
We are so grateful to parents for playing Zevulun to our Yissachar and trusting us with providing a Jewish education to their children. We hope that schools and parents will continue to partner in raising our children for many years to come.